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“笑到岔气的憨憨文案”

2022-04-21 动态 44 ℃ 0 评论
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“我以后要当那种病娇娇的女孩子,风一吹就倒,好柔弱,大家看到我都好想保护。哪怕放了个屁也要娇滴滴地说:我的屁股咳嗽了一下。”

I want to be that kind of sick girl in the future. As soon as the wind blows, I'll fall down. I'm so weak. Everyone wants to protect me when they see me. Even if put a fart also want to Jiao Di Di to say: my buttock coughed for a while.

“你已触犯银河正义法中不可饶恕之蛇皮罪,我独秀铠甲将剥夺你的一切权利并对你实行封印缉捕,束手就擒吧。”

You have violated the unforgivable snakeskin crime in the Galactic justice law. I will deprive you of all your rights and seal and arrest you.

“今天上学感觉不舒服下午请了半天假 ,请完假刚出来,靠!感觉舒服多了,基本上就是好了。”

I don't feel comfortable at school today. I took a half day off this afternoon. I just came out after the leave. Shit! I feel much more comfortable. It's basically good.

“如果你已婚,请穿好衣服,这是对你丈夫的尊重。如果你未婚,请穿好衣服,这是对你自己的尊重。如果是商品,请标明价格或服务项目,这是对消费者的尊重。如果只是博眼球,请你穿的再少一点,因为我看的不够清楚。”

If you are married, please put on your clothes. It's respect for your husband. If you are unmarried, please put on your clothes. It's respect for yourself. If it is a commodity, please indicate the price or service items, which is respect for consumers. If it's just eye-catching, please wear less, because I can't see clearly enough.

“工资刚发:没用的东西都不能买。第二天:隐身葫芦娃,能是真的吗,买一个试试。”

Just paid: you can't buy useless things. The next day: invisible gourd baby, can it be true, buy a try.

“不想给我朋友圈点赞也就算了,还说什么你是奥特曼有手套点不了。”

If you don't want to praise my friends, you can't even say that you are Altman.

“收一个关门弟子,学费888元,只教关门。现在报名还教关灯和关窗。”

Take a close disciple, tuition 888 yuan, only teach close. Now, I also teach to turn off the lights and windows.

“15岁就独立做了周末作业,没有抄,瞎蒙乱猜就是爽,加油作业人。”

At the age of 15, I did my homework on the weekend. I didn't copy it. I guess it's cool. I'm a gas operator.

“卖炸弹的小女孩一晚上没有卖出去一颗炸弹,她冷到不行了,就点燃了一颗炸弹,后来全镇的人都见到了她的祖母。”

The little girl didn't sell a bomb all night. She was so cold that she lit a bomb. Later, the whole town saw her grandmother.

“冬天来啦,女孩子要多穿衣服,男孩子自己注意点,别感冒传染女孩子。”

Winter is coming. Girls should wear more clothes. Boys should pay attention to themselves. Don't infect girls with cold.

“拼茶叶蛋,1.5一个,3个人拼,一个吃蛋清,一个吃蛋黄,一个舔壳,芝麻信用分不够650的别来,怕你不守信用吃多了。”

Tea leaf eggs, 1.5, 3 people, one eat egg white, one eat egg yolk, one lick shell, sesame credit score is not enough 650 don't come, afraid you don't keep your promise to eat too much.

“我送外卖养你,你却给她点小蛋糕和奶茶,那两单我送的你知道吗?25楼,没电梯。”

I sent you out for your care, but you gave her some cake and milk tea. Do you know what I sent you? 25. No elevator.

“今天上班快迟到了,前面的奥迪开得贼慢,本来就堵车气得我不停地按喇叭,结果公交车司机把我赶下来了。”

Today, I was late for work. The Audi in front of me was driving slowly. I kept honking because of the traffic jam. As a result, the bus driver drove me down.

“办了张健身卡,两个月一斤没瘦,打算亲自去看看怎么回事。”

I've got a fitness card. I haven't lost a kilo in two months. I'm going to see what's going on in person.

看到这了点个赞再走噢~

要不再点个关注~

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Tags:文案憨憨

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